


Naming rights

by m_findlow



Category: Torchwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-15 20:09:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13620795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_findlow/pseuds/m_findlow
Summary: Owen is feeling put out by a lack of input.





	Naming rights

'Another homicide Jack,' Suzie announced eyeing her computer screen with something akin to excitement.

'Great,' Owen muttered as she slipped past him, that hideous metal glove already in her hand.

'Bloody waste of time if you ask me,' he said.

'You say that now, but you'll be laughing on the other side of your face when I finally figure out how to make this work properly,' she retorted. 'Then maybe Torchwood won't need a doctor, and you'll be out of a job,' she added, grinning at her own cleverness.

'Not unless that thing can bring them back with a medical degree. "Guess what? Yes, I think maybe I died on account of a cardiac myopathy. No need for a medical professional to do an autopsy on me now...".'

'Except they won't be dead, Owen.'

'Yeah, yeah,' he grumbled. 'Just don't come whining to me next time you're feeling ill, then. Go tell your symptoms to that creepy glove.'

'We could always find out what actually happened to them,' Tosh suggested, grabbing her bag and shoving the PDA device inside before reaching for her coat. If she recalled rightly, it was forecast to rain quite heavily tonight.

'No way,' Jack said cutting her off, bursting from his office, his own coat already fluttering in his wake. 'Under no circumstances are we investigating these deaths. The police have a function and our job is to let them do it.'

'Since when do you care about the police?' Owen asked.

Jack's look was stern. 'Since I don't want us getting bogged down in pointless investigations.'

'I think their families would disagree with you,' Ianto said, trying to stay out of the argument and failing as he moved silently amongst them, collecting empty mugs.

'They're not our responsibility,' Jack said, ending the argument. He sighed. 'Come on. Let's go out there and see what we can learn.' He still had his own reservations about the glove since it had randomly appeared three weeks ago. There seemed to be a growing number of deaths in the city and he couldn't tell if that was unusual or whether he'd simply not noticed them before because they hadn't had a reason to track them.

'Ready,' Suzie said, stepping up in front of him, clutching the metal gauntlet in her arms.

'Still can't help but wonder if this is just one piece of it, and the rest of this clunky suit is still out there somewhere,' Jack said.

'What, like a knight missing a hand, going around ressurrecting corpses from graveyards at midnight?' Owen smirked. 'Beware the one-handed knight, come to bring back your dead,' he said, putting on a creepy voice for effect.

Jack shrugged. 'Stranger things have happened. By they way, have we got a name for it yet?'

'Ressurrection Glove,' Ianto quickly offered, loading another mug on his tray.

'Rubbish name,' Owen said.

Ianto stopped and looked up at him. 'Well, that’s what it does, isn't it?' He was actually rather glad not to go out with them. He could live with the corpses once Owen had zipped them safely up in their body bags. Hanging around whilst they thrashed themselves to death for a second time made his stomach churn.

'Yeah,' Owen said, 'for all of about thirty seconds. What’s good is that? Should be called "the bloody useless unless you like watching people die again" glove.'

'Not quite the same ring,' Ianto replied.

'Agreed,' Jack said. 'I like Ianto’s name better. Kinda catchy. And it's not nearly as morbid as calling it "The Clutches of Death".' That had been Suzie's comment the last time they went out after another unsuccessful attempt to get it to work. Even for him, who was accustomed to dying over and over again, it didn't sit particularly comfortably.

'Yeah, well you would,' Owen grumbled. 'Oh, and since when did you get the job around here of naming things?' he said, directing his question at Ianto.

Ianto raised a careful eyebrow at him. 'Such as?'

'Ressurection Glove? Sonic Silencer? Hell, you even named the bloody pet dinosaur without consulting anyone.'

'You weren’t there,' Jack said. 'Ianto found her, he gets to name her.'

'Sodding Welsh,' Owen complained. 'Can I buy a vowel, please?'

'It has an A,' Ianto replied.

'Let's just go,' Suzie interrupted. 'The longer we wait, the harder it gets.'

Jack looked from one teammate to another and back again. 'Okay. Let's roll.'

 

'Well, that was a bust,' Jack said, turning his collar up against the rain as it started to come down in earnest.

'I fucking hate this job sometimes,' Owen snuffled, holding a sodden tissue to his nose to stem the bleeding. 'Still can't believe the bastard punched me!'

'He probably thought you were the guy who attacked him,' Tosh said, feeling sorry for him and searching her pockets for another tissue, offering it up to him.

'Yeah, 'cause a short guy like me is really gonna go after some meat head six foot four rugby player like him.' He supposed it was just lucky that the police at the scene hadn't seen it happen, being cordoned off at the far end of the street, huddled in their patrol cars and thick high vis jackets. It was a matter of pride.

'Well, someone did,' Jack said. 'Stabbed in the back. And he'd just started thinking that the city was getting safer to walk around at night. Judging by the angle of the wound, I'd have said the attacker was well shorter than him. Probably about as tall as Suzie, and not much more,' he mused.

'Yes, thank you, Dr Harkness. Thought we weren't speculating on cause of death?' Owen said, still sounding nasally.

'He stank of booze,' Suzie replied, keeping her expression neutral, and tucking the glove back in her oversized handbag. 'Any idiot could've taken him down pretty easily if he was that drunk.'

'Why, though?' Tosh said.

'Revenge, random hate crime, psychotic episode, who knows?' Jack replied. 'Like I said, not our job.'

There was a tiny double beep in their ears as an incoming signal came through their headsets.

'Sorry to ruin your night,' Ianto apologised, 'but there's been a small rift flare.'

'Where?' Jack said, flipping open his wrist strap and consulting the readings simultaneously.

'About three blocks from your current position. Alley behind the markets.'

'What are you thinking?' Jack asked him. The computers back at the hub were better placed to analyse the signal.

'Small. Very small. Inanimate though, which is a plus. Probably couldn't pick a worse night for trying to find it, mind you.'

'We'll manage. Keep in touch if anything changes.'

Predictably, the alley was full of bins and dumpsters, full to overflowing with the days discarded produce and excess packaging.

'Tosh, any traces of rift radiation to help us find this thing?' Jack asked.

She waved her PDA slowly around the alley, ignoring the water dripping down the back of her coat and down her neck. Eventually she picked out a faint signal at the base of one of the bins, pointing in its general direction.

Jack knelt down and reached behind, feeling around for anything, and clasping his hand around something small and round. 'Got something,' he said,pulling it towards himself. He gripped his torch in his spare hand, shining it on the object in his hand.

'Well, whaddaya know? Haven't seen one of these for years.'

Suzie took it from his hand, turning it over. It was rounded but not circular, semi flat and silvery. It could easily have been mistaken for a stone. 'What is it?'

'A portable forcefield. Range about three feet wide and ten feet tall. Handy if you need to capture something and you don't feel like getting intimate.'

'Not that you'd know anything about that,' Owen quipped.

'I have highly attuned interpersonal skills,' he replied. 'Limited battery life on these things, though. Used to have one til it ran out of juice. Probably still floating around the hub somewhere. Handy to have a working one again.'

He plucked it from her slender hand and held it up to the streetlight. 'Wanna name it, Owen?'

'Huh?'

'You were complaining earlier about not getting to name stuff. Seems only fair that the guy who gets clubbed out by a corpse should get some kinda reward.'

'Some would call it karma,' Suzie said. 'And I'm referring to the getting punched out part.'

'Har, fucking, har.'

'Alright, Owen,' Jack said, grinning despite the rain. 'Here it is. Your big moment. What do we call it?'

He frowned at it, taking it from a Jack's outstretched hand, feeling how light it was. Suddenly his mind went blank.' Portable, um, power, er, forcefield... thingy.'

Suzie rolled here eyes dramatically, sighing for effect. 'All hail Owen Harper. King of naming things,' she said. Tosh suppressed a small giggle.

'Yep,' Jack said, taking the device back from him and slipping in into his pocket. 'Responsibility for naming things is officially Ianto’s job from now on.'


End file.
